


Of Elves and Wine

by GendrysNorthernWench



Category: The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Elves, Gen, crack!, didn't know which fandom to stick this in, elves shouldn't drink, i'm sorry lindir, leggy is a handsy drunk, legolas's pants, poor Lindir, pre-LOTR/Hobbit, singing elves, so it went in all the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:45:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GendrysNorthernWench/pseuds/GendrysNorthernWench
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Long before the events of The Hobbit, the elves of Mirkwood and Rivendell meet. </p><p>Chaos ensues.</p><p>Reasons why Thranduil and Elrond don't talk</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Elves and Wine

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 'The Best Way to Welcome Visitors' and a healthy dose of sleep deprivation and food colours (Y)
> 
> As per, I do not own any of the associated characters, locations or realms. I make no revenue for any of my work.

Sometimes, Lindir despaired for his lord’s offspring. 

Whoever claimed that elves were uptight and dull had clearly never encountered his Lord and Lady’s progeny after a cask –or eight- of Dorwinion wine.

Arwen, Elldan and Elrohir had gotten outrageously drunk at the feast welcoming the Mirkwood delegation, coercing a barely of age Legolas Greenleaf to join in their ‘festivities’. An action which had led to the rather unfortunate situation the dark haired steward found himself contending with. 

Prince Legolas was passed out next to a puddle of sick, snoring loudly with his under garments on his head, whilst Arwen and Elrohir had managed to climb up to the roof of Elrond’s halls, stripped down to their small clothes, laughing at Elladan who was waxing lyrical about his lost pants –which would later be found in a tree by a hunting party-.  
Just when Lindir had decided things couldn’t get much worse, the two elves perched upon the roof broke into a jubilant ‘song’ bellowing the bawdy lyrics to the skies, as the smash of fine china echoed through the beautifully crafted walls.

Clearly the negotiations between the two elfish factions were going badly.

Electing to allow some other sop get between the two enraged lords, Lindir began hoisting himself up onto the ledge an arched window, preparing to drag the drunken miscreants from their perch - falling onto his rear- when Thranduil came storming out, blonde hair whipping behind him, shouting angrily at Elrond who followed close behind.  
‘Thrandy’s in the valley! Leggy’s asleep in the alley! Ada’s gone doolally!’ 

Oh. Joy.

Apparently the afore mentioned drunken elves had seen their adad and the ‘elk riding coot’ –Elrond’s words, not his- arguing, and in a fit of creativity inspired by youth and far too many cups, had thought up the jaunty little tune, which Elladan was quick to expand with;  
‘Arwen’s in her nighty, Leggy’s pants are whitey! Thrandy’s getting bitey!’ 

 

Lindir could have quite happily cried as Thranduil gnashed his teeth before answering in a much more explosive fashion when he heard the song his host’s children were singing.  
Eru, what he wouldn’t give for his bed –and potentially a finger or three of the amber grain alcohol Glorfindel kept hidden under his pillow-. 

Deciding that it was probably an idea to get Legolas and Elladan –Eru bless the philosophical drunk- to their chambers to sleep off the worst of their intoxication, Arwen and Elrohir could be dealt with by someone else. 

 

Retrieving the two princelings, Lindir started the arduous venture of taking them to their rooms –nearly dropping Legolas when he felt the apparently not asleep blonde’s hand squeeze his rear- 

By the Valar, he envied Haldir right now.


End file.
